


Movies and Clichés

by chancellorxofxtrash (PhoebeMurdivine)



Series: Trashpups [1]
Category: Etsusa Bridge
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Guns, Lots of guns, M/M, also inui keeps breaking in to kugi's home so he's still a lil asshole as usual, because dogs will be dogs, both of them are bad role models, despite all the guns they don't shoot each other at all this time, don't break into anyone's home, inui is a bad role model, they do threaten doing so though, this is the most self-indulgent cracky fluff i had ever written probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 16:32:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6712636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoebeMurdivine/pseuds/chancellorxofxtrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inui keeps breaking into Kugi's room. Kugi keeps pretending to be bothered by it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Movies and Clichés

**Author's Note:**

> Complete cracky fluff. I have no shame about this one whatsoever. Some of these scenes come from groupchat talks, so thanks for them for the inspiration!

All things considered, it was a fairly uneventful day, with Kugi accompanying Yili to some meetings, just to be sure, when his cell phone rang.  
He picked it up, and that’s when it all started.  
_„Dude, you are out of milk.”_  
He was nowhere near seeing the man responsible for the phonecall, and he still saw a flash of rainbow in the back of his mind.  
„...get out of my room.”  
Yili also stopped, looking at him, while narrowing her eyes.  
_„Dude, chill. It’s really a travesty, you being out of milk.”_  
„...”  
_„I said it before, chill. I’m not gonna shoot your princess in the head while she’s sleeping.”_  
„So now I’m supposed to feel better, that you only break into my room instead?”  
_„I’m not gonna shoot you in the head while you are sleeping either. That would not be very dramatic now would it? No, if I’m gonna shoot you, you’re gonna be awake, facing me, and armed. Just like the fifty other times we had done that song and dance before.”_  
„Great. Now I’m all calm. Get out of my room.”  
Kugi ended the call forcefully, and tried to maintain a neutral expression.  
He had a feeling he didn’t succeed.

 

And when the guards who were alerted by Yili got into Kugi’s room, Inui was nowhere to be seen.

 

~*~

 

A week passed since the incident, and there had been no real news from Inui. It was as eventful as a day can get in an island like this – and Kugi walked into his room in the Hotel, sighing.  
Yili was in the next room, just a signal away, if needed, but for now, Kugi just pulled off his longcoat, loosened his tie, and walked to the tv, reaching for the remote...  
His phone rang.  
_„Have you seen it?”_  
„...seen what?”  
_„Damn. I hoped this was a cool timing. It would have been so cool if I could have managed to call you just after you opened your fridge.”_  
Kugi whirled around, running to the fridge, opening the door...  
...and it was full of milk.  
„You son of a bitch.”  
Inui just laughed, and judging from the sound, Kugi would not have been surprised if he were crying from laughter.  
_„I told you, man. It is a complete travesty.”_  
„I’m lactose intolerant.”  
_„Well um. Shit...? Well, there goes the coolness factor. Nevertheless, I left you one more gift. It is under the pillow which is on the right side of the sofa.”_  
Kugi walked over, and what he found was a DVD case – of Firefly.  
_„You did not react to the reference I made, so I figured I’d let some culture into your life.”_  
„...just because I did not react does not mean I did not see it.”  
_„Did you?”_  
„No.”  
_„See? There. Culture.”_  
„Stop breaking into my room.”  
_„Stop making your room that easy to break into.”_

 

They did try to fix the security of Kugi’s room – but then again, there was no evidence that the rainbow-haired bastard had been anywhere, so securing his room was not a top priority.  
Kugi did end up watching the first episode one boring night though.  
Then the rest of the series.

 

A few days later, a big box arrived to the headquarters, addressed to Kugi.  
It was Lihuang who brought it up to his room, with a huge grin on his face.  
„We needed to check if it was a bomb or not.”  
This statement certainly explained why the box was open, but not the fact that why one of the executives brought it up to Kugi. Lihuang, as if he saw the question from Kugi’s face, grinned even bigger.  
„Truth to be told, I just want to see your reaction to the contents.”  
Honestly, Kugi did not know what to expect when he looked into the box – but he had a feeling he should have been more surprised than he was, when he saw it being full of lactose-free milk.  
And two DVD cases, one of them of Serenity (with a post-it note saying _After you finished the show_ ), and another for the first Pirates of the Carribean movie ( _This could be us_ ).  
Kugi actually grew better and better at concealing his reactions, judging from Lihuang’s slightly disappointed expression, as he just took the box from him.

 

~*~

 

 _„We are drift compatible.”_  
Okay, out of all the weird starting sentences that came from Inui, over the phone, this was by far the weirdest.  
„...what?”  
_„Come on. You know. Pacific Rim?”_  
Kugi vaguely remembered some movie about robots and giant monsters from ages ago, and he just shook his head, aware that Inui can’t see him.  
„I’m sorry, I never saw that one.”  
The answer was an offended gasp through the phone, and then the call just ended.  
Heh. Maybe he offended him enough that he’d leave him alone.

 

As if.

 

His lock clicked, and Kugi grabbed one of his guns by instinct, and aimed at the grinning rainbow-haired man who walked in, locking the door behind him.  
„Your lock is way too easy to pick.”  
„Get out.”  
„Nah. We are gonna watch a movie” Inui raised his hand, waving a DVD case around. „I am here to bring some culture into your life.”  
Altough he was tempted to just shoot him in the head and be done with it, there were actually a couple of reasons against it.  
One, he was sure Inui would not just let in happen – he did not aim his own gun, but his whole stance screamed that he was ready to jump if needed.  
Two, cleaning up a dead body is messy.  
Three, the bullet holes would mess up his room.  
In the end he just lowered his gun, and turned away, so he would not have to see Inui’s grin grow even wider.

 

~*~

 

When next time he heard a rattle at his lock, Kugi just moved there, and opened it, gun in other hand – just to be sure.  
But sure enough, it was Inui who literally fell into his room.  
„Damn. This was quite embarrassing wasn’t it?”  
„Not more embarrassing than your hair.”  
„That was uncalled for.”  
„...what are you even doing here this time?”  
Inui stood up from the ground, and stretched his arms a little.  
„Well, I wanted to watch bring you Equilibrium, you know, that Christian Bale movie, but I just couldn’t get it anywhere. So I figured I’d come here and check what you have.”  
„...you could just torrent it, you know.”  
„Wi-fi is crap on this island, you know.”  
Turned out, the Hotel actually had some decent wi-fi connection, but it still took some time for it to download.  
It was reasonably quiet, with Kugi sitting in front of his computer, and trying not to pay attention to Inui taking up all the place on his sofa.  
„Hey... Kugi...”  
„What?”  
„We are downloading a movie. Illegally.”  
Kugi turned around on his chair, to look at Inui with an incredulous look.  
Really, between all the other times both of them had broken all the laws ever...  
But then Inui’s shit-eating grin kind of made him suspect that something was up, when...  
„You could say we are... pirating.”  
„...get out of my room.”

 

The movie wasn’t actually half-bad, shame Inui was thrown out to the corridor, so he could not watch it with him.

 

~*~

 

„Booooooo. That’s just... booooo.”  
Inui actually threw his popcorn at the tv, making Kugi’s eyebrow rise.  
„You are gonna have to clean it up.”  
„Yeah, yeah, whatever. This movie deserves it. I thought Angelina Jolie with guns can be redeeming. But bullet curving? Really?”  
„You totally want to try it out if it works, don’t you.”  
„Well... yeah maybe. How cool would it be if it would work?”  
„I think there must be a Mythbusters episode about that. Or if not, there should be.”  
Everything about this scene was wrong. Crappy movie on the screen, Inui next to him on the sofa, his legs on the table.  
Kugi decided to stop caring.  
„Next time, we should watch Tomb Raider. Angeline Jolie with guns again. Two guns. You could be Lara Croft too.”  
„...no I could not be Lara Croft.”  
„You are right, your hair is too short for that.”

 

~*~

 

Yili and the others were on higher floors. His job was to stop the ambush they knew was coming, and work his way upwards.  
The ground floor was almost empty, but Kugi walked silently, guns in hands, slowly creeping towards the corner.  
He heard footsteps coming from around the corner, so he raised his guns, turned the corner, aimed...  
And there was a gun held sideways in his face.  
For a few seconds they stood there, their guns in each others’ faces, until Inui grinned.  
„This is like. One of the worst movie clichés ever.”  
„...yeah.”  
Kugi was also smiling a little, until he heard the elevator ding.  
Both of them turned immediately, guns pointed at the opening elevator.  
There was no one inside.  
„Huh. Looks like a trap to me.”  
„Yeah.”  
Kugi slowly lowered his guns, and next to him, Inui did the same.  
„So should we walk into it?”  
The answer was just a small smile, and Kugi saw Inui grinning like a madman again.

 

Working together was not that horrible, all things considered, not even when all hell broke loose.  
Covering each others’ backs was way easier than sneaking shots at each other, and it was also not a waste of ammo, so obviously this time they did not waste time with that.  
The island’s two dogs moved like predators, mowing their enemies down one by one.  
He saw someone kicking Inui’s hand, and Inui’s gun flew.  
Then he decided, gun safety be damned, and just slid one of his guns towards Inui on the floor.  
Inui noticed, jumped, grabbed the gun with both hands, and fired – this time holding the gun the normal way.  
Too bad that with this distraction, someone else could also sneak close to Kugi, hitting him in the head.  
His other gun fell out of his hand, as he stumbled, but managed to jam this elbow into his assilant’s stomach.  
He stumbled, falling down to his knees, reached forward, his hand managing to find a gun – a modified, heavier gun. He grabbed it with both hands, turned around, and pulled the trigger.  
The kickback was horrible, and he hissed, and next thing he knew, Inui was hovering over him, taking his gun, and giving Kugi back his own guns – during his run to him, he managed to grab the second fallen one too.  
„Now we learnt a valuable lesson. Switching weapons might be badass, and a sign of bonding, but it is not practical. At all. Your guns are weird.”  
„You’re the one to talk.”  
Kugi hissed between his teeth, firing his guns while still kneeling on the floor, trying to ignore his aching wrists. Inui stood behind him, firing his own gun, as if guarding his back from attacks.  
„You did not deny the bonding part.”  
„You know what else is a horrible cliché? Bantering while fighting. Shut up and shoot.”

 

It was later, when it was all over, that Kugi was sitting on his own sofa, and Inui was still there, wrapping cold wet cloth around Kugi’s wrists.  
„There. You shot it with both hands, so I doubt it’ll swell or anything... but just to be sure.”  
Kugi did not say a word, just looked up, and their eyes met.  
„Why red and blue?”  
„Hm?”  
„Your eyes. Rainbow hair is one thing, but why red and blue? I would have figured you’d have contact lenses featuring emoticons, or something.”  
„Oh, that’s not a bad idea. Actually, dunno. I just liked how it looked.”  
Inui shrugged, and Kugi just shook his head with a sigh. What else did he expect as an answer, he had no idea.  
„You should probably avoid shooting for a few days, though.”  
„Remember where we live.”  
„True.”  
When Inui chuckled, Kugi couldn’t hold back a smile either.  
„So. When are you going to bring up the idea that we should watch something?”  
Inui grinned, and pushed himself to his feet.  
„Oh, you are starting to figure me out so well. We should drink something, too. What do you have?”  
„Milk.”  
At Kugi’s deadpan delivery, Inui stopped on his tracks, looked at the smiling Kugi incrediously, before he broke out in a laughter.

 

~*~

 

„No.”  
„Come on, it’s almost Christmas!”  
„Halloween was yesterday. And still no.”  
At this point, Kugi was used to a lot of things. He was used to Inui breaking into his room, he was used to these unofficial movie nights of theirs too. There wasn’t a routine to them or anything – Inui would just sometimes show up with a new movie or tv show he wanted to show Kugi, or just check it out together.  
But this? This was over a line.  
Apparently, during the time Kugi was out, Inui took the liberty to decorate Kugi’s room with Christmas decorations.  
„The Eastern District’s Guard Team had some amazing Halloween decorations. I figured I’d inspire you, so maybe you’d up the ante, and take up the fight with them in Christmas decorations. You know, some bloodless fighting, for a change.”  
„I think we’ll pass.” Kugi deadpanned, walking to his front door, and opening it. „Out.”  
Inui rolled his eyes, but didn’t stop grinning, just stepped forward, and pointed upwards.  
„See? I even put up some mistletoe for you, so maybe you and the princess might e--”  
He could not finish it – because Kugi took a few broad steps, closing the distance between them, grabbed the collar of Inui’s shirt, yanked him closer, and just pressed their lips together.  
For a few moments, it was like time stopped, it was like neither of them was breathing – and then Inui leaned into the kiss, and Kugi’s shoulders relaxed, altough he didn’t even notice how he tensed up.  
Kugi moved, turning Inui around, and started to push him forward, not breaking the kiss – he only broke it, when they reached the door, that was when he pulled back his head, letting their eyes to meet.  
Then he shoved Inui backwards a little more.  
„Bye.”  
And slammed the door into his face.

 

He wasn’t even surprised that his phone started to ring almost immediately. He sighed, leaning with his back to the door, and just answered the phone wordlessly.  
_„Wow. Bye. Really? That’s a whole new level of rude. I see we have to take a break with the sci-fi and the action movies, and catch you up with romantic movies.”_  
Inui’s voice was overlapping, from behind the door and from his phone, and it was such a familiar feeling at this point, that Kugi just closed his eyes.  
„Do that, and I will shoot you in the head.”  
_„How about Love Actually? That is keeping touch with the season.”_  
„It. Is. November.”  
Inui chuckled, and Kugi knew he was also smiling.  
_„Well, I’ll see what can I find. Later.”_  
„...yeah. Later.”  
Kugi hung up, and just listened to Inui’s footsteps disappearing on the hallway.

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'ed, so if you find anything that is off, don't hesitate to tell me! And thanks, if you had read it this far!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Aftermaths](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8288869) by [InsertImaginativeNameHere](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsertImaginativeNameHere/pseuds/InsertImaginativeNameHere)




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